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Eps 45: Barbara-jo McIntosh on Hospitality, Reinvention and Finding Home in France

Barbara-jo McIntosh is a cookbook author, culinary entrepreneur, bookseller, and one of Canada's most respected voices in food and hospitality. After building an extraordinary career in Vancouver's culinary world, including founding the beloved Barbara-jo's Books to Cooks, she began a new chapter in rural France, where she now welcomes guests into her beautiful home, La Maison des Mots, in the medieval village of La Charité-sur-Loire.

In this episode, Barbara-jo shares the experiences that shaped her lifelong passion for hospitality, the courage to reinvent herself throughout her career, and why she believes it's never too late to begin again. Together, we also explore French culture, entertaining traditions, and the simple pleasures that make life around the table so meaningful.

Featured Recipe

Barbara-jo’s Courgette and Herb Flan 
For more recipes please visit our recipe page

Through My Lens:

What surprised me?

When I first read Barbara-jo's book:  Cooking For Me and Sometimes You, A Parisienne Romance, I assumed she had grown up in a family where cooking was central to daily life. I was surprised to learn that her mother didn't teach her to cook at all. It wasn't until she left home that she discovered cooking through a boyfriend and his family. It reminded me that our passions don't always begin in childhood. Sometimes they're discovered when we leave home with a little curiosity and love of learning and step into someone else's world.

I was also surprised by how clearly Barbara-jo could trace her lifelong gift for hospitality back to her parents' divorce. As a young child, she instinctively took on the role of making everyone around her happy. Rather than seeing hospitality as something she learned professionally, she sees it as something that emerged from her earliest experiences. It made me wonder, how we often see this trait as a negative, being a “people pleaser” but it became Barbara-jo’s greatest strength in her career.

Another surprise was that neither her restaurant nor her famous cookbook store were lifelong dreams. The restaurant grew from years of collecting recipes, and the idea for Barbara-jo's Books to Cooks came from a short magazine article about a cookbook shop in Notting Hill. The difference between Barbara-jo and many other people who are inspired by a random idea: Barbara-jo used zest, bravery and a lot of hope and took action, she tried it out.

What does this episode reveal about Barbara-jo?

Listening to Barbara-jo, it is hard not to recognize how consistent her values have remained and guided her throughout every stage of her life. She has changed careers, countries, and even languages, but her purpose has stayed the same.

Whether she was running a restaurant, welcoming world-renowned chefs into Books to Cooks, or now opening her home in rural France, Barbara-jo has always been creating places where people feel comfortable, cared for, and connected. 

She also speaks often about feeding people well, growing food, supporting local producers, and understanding where our food comes from. For Barbara-jo, food is never just about the meal itself. It reflects respect for the people who produce it, the place it comes from, and the relationships built around the table.  This took me right back to Japan and the term “Itadakimasu”, what people say before every meal, expressing a deep gratitude for each person, plant and animal that was a part of the process to bring the meal to their plate.

One connection that stood out to me was how closely this echoed my conversation with Siham Lahmine from Morocco. Although they come from different cultures, both women see hospitality as an act of generosity rather than performance. In both episodes, welcoming someone into your home is less about impressing guests and more about helping them feel that they belong.

What does this episode teach us about living meaningful, connected lives?

Kindness

"I'm always concerned about anybody who's in my presence... that they're having a good time or they're feeling comfortable."

Barbara-jo's kindness is expressed through hospitality. Whether welcoming guests into her home, hosting chefs at Books to Cooks, or simply preparing a meal, she consistently creates spaces where people feel seen, comfortable, and cared for. Her hospitality isn't about entertaining. It's an expression of kindness through generosity, attention, and presence.  I experienced this first hand staying at La Maison des mots. I felt like we were welcomed as visiting friends versus guests for a stay.

Love of Learning

"Being in a wonderful position to share knowledge... knowledge about the things that mean an awful lot to me."

Throughout her career, Barbara-jo has remained very curious. She collected recipes long before opening a restaurant, learned from every chef who walked through her doors, embraced the challenge of living in another culture, and continues to write, read, and welcome new experiences. Her life is a reminder that learning doesn't end with formal education. It becomes a way of living.

Bravery

"I never, ever thought I was doing the wrong thing. I knew that that was going to be a wonderful experience for myself."

Barbara-jo trusted her intuition repeatedly. She opened businesses without knowing exactly where they would lead, moved alone to France, renovated an old home in a foreign language and culture, and knew when it was time to close one chapter and begin another. Her bravery is not one of big heroics, it is quiet day to day decisions without second guessing herself.  I like to think that not being afraid to fail lends itself to this, especially knowing that out of uncomfortable situations comes growth.

Perspective

"Just carry on. Just move along. Move along with your life."

Rather than dwelling on obstacles she couldn't control, Barbara-jo accepted them and kept moving forward. She also speaks about the value of quiet reflection and continues to approach each new season of life with optimism and possibility.

A quote I'll remember

"It's very important to just keep on growing. Keep on growing." Barbara-jo McIntosh

Books And Resources:

Cooking For You and Sometimes Me: A Parisienne Romance

Barbara-jo's memoir, cookbook, and love letter to Paris. The book that first introduced me to Barbara-jo's writing and inspired this conversation. Filled with stories, recipes, and observations from living in Paris. Sadly it is currently out of print, but Barbara-jo and I are chatting about bringing it back to life in another format - stay tuned.

Tin Fish Gourmet: Celebrating Fish in the Tin by Barbara-jo McIntosh

Barbara-jo's first cookbook, originally published in 1998. It celebrates the versatility of quality tinned seafood.

Great Chefs Cook at Barbara-jo's by Barbara-jo McIntosh

A collection of stories and recipes celebrating many of the renowned chefs who cooked at Barbara-jo's Books to Cooks, including Gordon Ramsay, Judy Rodgers, and Michel Roux.

La Cuisine by Raymond Olivier

The French cookbook Barbara-jo's mother gave her when she was young. Barbara-jo describes it as much more than a cookbook, explaining that it also explored how French aristocracy lived, entertained, and set the table. She credits it with inspiring both her love of French cuisine and her passion for entertaining

Additional Resources

Dinner Chez Moi (Barbara-jo's Substack/Newsletter)

La Maison des Mots (Barbara-jo's website)

Nathaniel's documentary
This is a very interesting and moving documentary: Home - Between the Swiss Alps and the Ukrainian War Zone  Nathaniel was staying at Barbara-jo’s Atelier when we were visiting. He was there writing and editing. Barbara-jo has various accommodation options and she often has writers book in for extended stays. I can see exactly why they would choose Charité and La Maison des Mots as their creative space.

I am so disappointed I missed visiting with Nathaniel, it was 10:30pm the jet lag got the better of me, but my friend Selena and Barbara-jo had more convo and wine to share. Nathaniel popped in to share in the late night hospitality.

Bring it Home

One of my favourite evidence-based practices, whether I'm travelling or at home, is character strength spotting. It's a simple exercise that has been shown to strengthen relationships and increase wellbeing.

Throughout my conversation with Barbara-jo, I found myself noticing not just what she had accomplished, but the strengths she consistently taps into.

This week, I'd love to invite you to try the same practice.

This Week's Practice - SEA

Using the 24 Character Strengths listed below spot which character strengths are in use by yourself or someone else, it could be a stranger you observed, friend, family member, partner, colleague, anyone.

You can use this as a journal prompt, a great way to get comfortable with using this practice, even better tell the person directly.

S - Spot: Notice and name the specific character strength (such as kindness, curiosity, or perseverance) in action.

E - Explain: Describe the precise behaviour or context you observed that led you to identify that strength.

A - Appreciate: Express gratitude and share what their strength use means to you or the positive value it adds

Example:

S: I see Barbara-jo using the character strength of curiosity.
E: Barbara-jo invited Nathanial for drinks to learn more about what he was writing about.
A: I am grateful she did that as it introduced me to Nathaniel and his documentary.

Or if I could tell Barbara-jo directly, I may say something like this: Barbara-jo I love your curiosity to learn more about Nathaniel, I am so grateful you invited him for drinks and we had the opportunity to learn more about him and his documentary. (This is what I would have said if I had not fallen asleep).

Eps 45: Barbara-jo McIntosh on Hospitality, Reinvention and Finding Home in France